Being a Grandfather, or just being old, means that you are sometimes called upon to explain the inexplicable. And most explanations are accepted by the ones who ask.
Do you ever ever wonder
where the things you’ve lost have gone?
Do you ever stop and ask
if something has gone wrong?
And if grandpa’s lost his glasses
And you don’t know where they are
Do you see if they are on his head
Or been left in the car?
Well I think I know the answer
And I know who’s doing what.
Because I found out what was happening
I was right there. On the spot.
There is a secret monster
And he lives here in our house
He’s always here
He’s always there
He’s silent as a mouse.
Our secret silent monster
Is never ever seen
So how do we know?
So what does he do?
Is he purple or orange or green?
The reason I know there’s a monster
Is ‘cos of the things that we lose.
It’s because when we’re dressing to go out and play,
The monster has hidden our shoes.
It’s the only thing I can think of
To explain where all these things have gone
Cos there certainly must be a monster
Who makes all the good things go wrong.